When you first start out there is no confidence. There is no certainty.

It’s been a while since my last personal post and I’m not quite sure why. I guess I simply haven’t felt called to write. And it’s never something I’m willing to force or fake. But suddenly here I am, inspired to write, ready to write. I’m here.

Things have been so wonderful lately. I think back over the past few years and I can’t pinpoint the precise moment in time when everything became alright. I can’t remember when I stopped asking myself, “Am I doing the right thing?”. I can’t remember when I stopped worrying whether I would make enough money or not. I can’t remember when I stopped feeling like a total fraud. But it’s stopped, it’s all stopped.

And I feel grateful because of everything I’m feeling. I feel amazing. I feel alive. I feel blessed. I feel fortunate. I feel rich in every sense of the word. I feel happy. I feel beautiful. I feel complete. I feel like life is finally giving me a huge sign that I’m on the right track. 

Deciding to follow your heart and do what you love for a living is a brave and courageous step. And while from the outside it may seem all “confidence” and “certainty”, it most certainly is not that way from the inside.

When you first start out there is no confidence. There is no certainty. And looking back, it’s hard to remember why I ever kept going when there was no reward in sight. I really didn’t know what I was doing. I really didn’t have much of a plan at all. I would wake up every day and go to sleep every night wondering if I had chosen the right path. Had I done the right thing? Was I wasting my time? Was I capable? Was I going to make it?  Was I good enough? talented enough? smart enough? Would I ever get to a happy stage in my business where I didn’t worry about these things? There was no certainty.

But somewhere in the midst of it all there was this glimmer of hope and of light. And there was faith. Plenty of faith. And of course, the passion. The passion pulls you through, you know? The reward doesn’t even really matter, because right then and there it doesn’t exist. But somehow you’re compensated by the addiction, by the art, by the passion. The dream in and of itself is so beautiful that it’s worth it. It’s worth all of the sacrifices you make. It’s worth all of the bumps along the way. It’s worth it.

 And so, I’m here. I made it. I’m on my own two feet. And I’m grateful. If only I could have read this post way back when I started, I would have known that it was all for a reason. That I was doing the right thing. That I was not wasting my time. That I was capable. That I was going to make it. That I was good enough, talented enough, smart enough. And that I would one day get to a happy stage in my businesses where I would never have to worry about these things again.

If you’re just starting out, and worrying the same things I used to worry about, do me a favor. Read this post from start to finish as if it’s a letter from you in the future. You will get there. It just takes time. And a lot of hard work. But persistence, consistency, passion and faith will get you there. Just you wait and see.